Hey

So I am going to leave this blog alone and move on to something else.  I am not getting as many hits and its a real put down.  If you do read my posts and wish to see more than you can still read them at this websites; Richard Anthony Goulart | WritersCafe.org | The Online Writing Community       Have a great day!!!!!

Allow

To fight another day is all that I am asking you to allow.  My fight takes the turn for the worst as I see you taking his hand.  He is the damned, the man that I have to fight to get rid of.  So now I have to ask, allow my presence to take on a new light.  Let that light take over and shed upon you the ever tangled emotions that I bear.  My mind screams at me, tells me that I am an idiot that I need to shut up and start moving on.  Yet my heart tells me the complete opposite.  You see you took from me what I need.  I can't survive much longer without the love that you must give.  I have tried and failed to take my hand away, to turn away and see another in the same light, but it is you that I want, you that I need.  I have tried and have failed.  I see your photograph as I lay in my bed, and I have an uncontrollable rage that tells me that you are mine and I cannot stand to see you with someone that is not me.  I don't know how much longer I can stand not being with you and, yes hun, yes I am missing you.  Take me with you, allow me the second chance to make the things that I have not done right to be done right once more.  Allow me.  Oh please ALLOW me that second chance that I so deserve.  Just allow it once more.  ALLOW.

Please

Disgraced.  Fighting.  This war is neither mine nor yours, but belongs to the life long battle held between facing off species bent on total destruction of me, you and themselves.  I am sorry, but hun this is neither of our faults, its our nature.  Where do you think that you are going now?  How do you think that I can survive without the warmth in my heart that you filled me with.  Take me to the place that I held so highly, so that I may be the world again.  Hold me in your arms and let me share my love for you.  Speak to you softly and tell you that I love you.  Let me apologize for the person that I have been.  Let me become the person that you need me to be.  Please let me be.

Take This Pain

Frozen and diminished.  My mind screaming your mouth yelling.  What can I do, when the pain I feel is beyond the point of toleration.  Where can I go to escape a fate that is more painful than the thought of death itself.  Losing you has taken a toll on my ever decreasing self confidence, but this is more.  With this you have made me a coward, taken apart by your words of total delirium.  My ears forced to bear witness to the ever growing sound of your total destruction.  Today I gave in and saw at once the mistake that it told.  My witness means nothing as I fight for control of the ever crushing hold you have upon my heart.  Take your hand away and I die, yet keep it where it is and I can't stand it.  Confusing begins to describe only a fraction of what I feel and through these words I find a sort of comfort.  A kind of grace that comes with not having to listen and speak what you wish but what I want.

Breaking Away

Under your wing I have been left, to torment and tolerate the worlds cruelest and beyond sickest punishment that this world may offer.  Left alone with you I shall never be again.  In spite you have risen to great ends to catch me from flying off on the wings off destiny, just to throw me down and shackle me down with words of discouragement that seemed to last an eternity.  Tonight there was a plan, yet with the eagles eyes that you possess, saw right through it and again threw me down.  This time, however, I was ready and you saw exactly what I wanted to, for now you will never expect the plan I held underneath the plan.  Tonight I escape to a world that I and I alone control.  You have no say anymore and it hurts doesn't it?  Does it make you fell helpless, maybe a little like you are lost inside your own little demented head?  This day seems to be your last as my life begins.  Renewed by the fire that you set inside me with the lighter that was your flame.  Now your flame is dimming and I shall not rest untill I become everything that you will never be.

OK SOOOOO.....

So I am thinking that I should just make this into a story telling blog where I tell small short stories and pput the entries that I have here into another blog dedicated to trying to help people overcome their struggles.  I was kind of hoping to hear what other people had to say about this here idea.  If you have any ideas just please comment.  If not I will just do it.

Heart Renewed

To become the person you have tried so hard to keep me from becoming has become my whole life long dream.  There were times when I respected you, yet now all I have to say is good bye and I told you so.  You have failed and it hurts to know that doesn't it.  How can I tell you how I really feel when everytime I open my mouth you make me out to be a bad guy.  Well today my story takes a new turn.  I have broken away never to return again.  You had your chance and now it is mine.  I will not be held down by what you once were nor will I let myself sulk in your ever present shadow, that seems to engulf me wherever I go.  Today I break free!!  Today there becomes no hold on me that you will have.  :-)